What's to come?

I cannot be more pleased with my job and the cases I have worked. I have even analyzed some samples from one of the last serial killer case. The FBI even allows me to work on high profile cases and cases that cross state lines. However, I would not be me if I said I was completely satisfied. I do want to move up to the DNA lab. Trace evidence is great. I have met some awesome people, traveled to new places, and gained a lot of experience. But there are still so many different places to explore and new goals to achieve. I could go all the way to work at an international forensic lab. Oh, I could travel the world and solve universal crimes! Or maybe I could write a book about my experience and tell everyone about Forensic Science. No matter what, I am very much looking forward to the future and whats to come!

Yay!!

If I was thrilled about my first job in my career, then I am ecstatic for my brand new job! I did it! My hard work and patience paid off and I got a job for a federal trace evidence lab! Through working my ass off and putting in one hell of a resume as well as some awesome references, I am going to be helping solve some of the most illustrious and horrific American crimes. I AM Abby, well part of her. I deal with the trace evidence. I will be testing a lot of hair and fibers along with minerals found at a crime scene. There is a separate lab for weapon forensics as well as computer forensics. There is also a DNA lab and an area specifically dedicated to research. There are so many details and subcategories to these separate categories now that one person cannot handle all the work or knowledge in a lifetime. It is kind of nice though because for the most part you are the only person in your lab except a superior here or there. I have peace to concentrate on my tasks and comfort knowing when I organize something it will stay that way.  The lab is gorgeous! Top of line equipment even the storage areas are technically beautiful, print labels, chrome-like shelving, and a heap load of organizing tools. They have multiple spectrometers some mixed with gas chromatography. Instead of being in the basement, this lab is on the third floor along with the DNA lab.

  We use a lot of similar equipment and supplies, it is logical to have them next to each other. The building itself is 5 stories high and a completely secure. Unfortunately, it has that bright white, classic high-tech lab feel. It seems like almost everything is white, really white! Part of me feels like I am part of some top-secrecy government agency but it is easy to find out information about my department. It still feels cool! Protocols are much tighter on the federal level. It makes me glad I already have a great habit double-checking all my procedures and keep the chain of evidence intact. 

Dream vs Money

My Frumpy Couch..

Déjà vu all over again!!! Back on my couch with my nonjudgmental friend Fallout, and back to my roommates questioning all my life career choices. I have to admit as the days turn into weeks since my lay off, I too have wondered if it just wouldn’t be easier to reconsider taking a job with a large drug company testing those poor depressed rats with the latest pharmaceutical treatment. But that is not my desire, I long to assist in solving mass or horrific crimes all over the country by using my laboratory skills as well as my criminalistic knowledge. I know in my heart of hearts I am meant for this work. I can separate my feelings from my tasks and situations to do my job well. It doesn’t matter though, as much as I am trying to remember all my good qualities, my doubt keep creeping in. The longer I go without a job the greater my self-doubt, insecurities, and harsh critiques overcome my positivity.  Who knows, maybe if another month goes by without a job, I may need the latest antidepressant. Why does it always come down to my dream or money..

Unfair....

Government work sucks! It doesn’t matter that I received excellent reviews from my boss.  It doesn’t matter that I helped solve so many felony crimes and even homicides. (Yes I solved another one). When the state runs out of money and doesn’t fund law enforcement, the job that was the world to me meant nothing to upper management.  I was deemed no longer an absolute necessity and let go. The scientist in me understands the politics and the reasons behind me being laid off, but the emotional side of me (which I hate to acknowledge and sucks) is screaming about the injustice of it and how unfair life is!!!

 

I am so distraught.. I completely broke down as soon as I sat in my car and immediately called my mom. I felt like I sobbed to her for hour even though it was only about ten minutes. She reminded me that there are many jobs of all sorts and of course, let me know how incredibly intelligent I am. I know she means well but those words seem more like pity then even just mom love. It’s been a couple days but I still don’t know what I am going to do... Being able to solve crimes was awesome but I even miss the day to day tests and chores, like disinfecting every countertop and machines used that day. I want the chore to do minute tests like blood samples and mineral samples and running fingerprint scans, having to do the same steps over and over. I miss being in charge of putting all the glassware in the autoclave and having to be the one to put them all away correctly when it’s finished. These jobs do not just come around like the mail. I was so lucky in the first place. It is back to filling out multiple applications, ridiculing from my friends, and the pressure to succeed from within.

First Homicide..

A few days ago, was the start of my first official homicide. As horrible of an act as murder is, I was thrilled to be a part of the team that is helping catch the predator. As I was removing the evidence from the box and organizing it, I got frustrated because I couldn’t read the handwriting of the CSI. Sometimes I wish I could collect me own evidence then test it, but I also do not want to have to see the crime scene. It makes it all feel more real which makes it harder to do my job. From what I gathered this case was a suspected murder- suicide through poison but I tried not to think about it and gain any bias. I located the blood and hair samples. I took the blood sample tubes and put them in the Mass Spectrometer.

I then cut one of the hair samples to test the root for drug exposure as well as the physical strand for any trace evidence. I did this for both individuals. Then I used the fume hood and cyanoacrylate on the bottle of cyanide to create a super glue fog that will stick to the oils on the print. Our hope was to find out who poured the cyanide. Before starting up the spectrometer I secured a sample of the champagne to be sure it was contaminated. Once all samples were ready to go, I set up the machine and let it go.  While I was waiting I made sure to record my steps and double check that I followed evidence protocol. It is super important for the chain of evidence to stay intact. It is one of my greatest fears that I will be the cause of a mistrial. That is a heavy burden I wish never to carry.   Luckily that thought was interrupted by the lovely tone of “Spectro”. The hair and soda samples were finished, while the blood still needed time. Blood usually takes longer; it can give a lot of information.  The champagne sample did have high quantity of cyanide, two grams. Now I know that doesn’t seem like a lot in the macro world but that is a lot in the micro world. Both hair samples contained a tiny amount of cyanide, which meant it was not an exposure over time situation. If this happen within a few hours after ingestion it would not have enough time to really show in the hair which would explain why it was not in the hair but in the soda. All I was waiting for was the blood toxicology. My mind was slipping back to my own mental reconstruction of the crime scene when Spectro went off again. I took a deep breath and read the analysis. Again both results were the almost identical. They each had over twice the lethal dose of cyanide. One of the only things that could tell us the final piece of this morbid situation was the prints on the cyanide bottle. After the fumes had died down and the hood cleared, I dusted the bottle and lifted off any print I could find. I located two prints on opposite sides of the body of the bottle. I ran both and they quickly came back as the finger and thumb for the same person, one of our deceased, Malcolm Bridge, an ex-convict who had just gotten out a couple days before the incident. The medical examiner had identified the male after getting his fingerprints in autopsy, along with his longtime girl Wanda Garcia, the victim. It was all in all a straight forward case for my first homicide.

PS:       

   Rumor around the street was that Wanda was working on moving away while Malcolm was locked up but he got out earlier than expected. He surprised Wanda with her favorite bottle of champagne and she couldn’t refuse. It was over after the first sip.. It seems Malcolm found out from someone inside and refused to live without her. 

First Day!!!

I did it! Walking into the lab on my first day on my dream job, I have to admit I kind of expected a relationship with my co-workers like Abby has with her team on NCIS.

  

 

Trust me, I have binged on this show enough on Netflix to know what to expect.  However, my hopes were quickly squashed as soon as I met my boss, who looked nothing like Mark Harmon. My boss had the same focused look but was female and greeted me with a warm opening. Unfortunately, the lab was not like Abby’s gothic basement either, but it was my own heaven. Clean, sterile, organized, and full of mystery, this space represented all of the opportunities that were going to come my way. My boss, Mary Hanson, is very no nonsense, down to earth woman who appears ready to mentor me, yet I know her expectations are high.  Mary started with a tour of the lab.  She showed me the non-refrigerated storage cabinets first. They were on the right wall. It was perfect, everything was labeled! Beakers of all shapes and sizes, test tube holders, loop and needle transfer tools, (loops are my favorite). She showed me where they kept the test tube labeling tape and markers as well the labeling supplies for organizing the lab itself. Then we moved on to the refrigerated storage on the back wall. There were two big, tall metal fridges on the left side and two metal fridges on the right side, and a fume hood station in-between. The fridges were chrome with a see through doors just like Abby’s! The left fridge contained both multiple kinds of test tubes some with agar. 

       Agar is the substance used in many plates and tubes to encourage growth of many microorganisms or to weed out unwanted organisms. On the right, are the pair of fridges that hold the tubes that are in stasis or need to be incubated.The incubator is a machine where test tubes or dishes are locked into it and the environment changes to encourage the growth of the microorganisms. The incubator was located on the left, perpendicular to the refrigerators, along with the autoclave. The autoclave is this big, metal rectangle, similar in size to a refrigerator. This machine is used to kill organisms that were grown for experiments as well as completely sanitizing and cleaning tubes and dishes. It is a very important machine but it is very loud and annoying. As exciting as finally being in an actual forensic lab is, I know all these beautiful machines and supplies will be my responsibility to keep clean and functioning. No matter what lab, whether educational or career, there are beginning and end processes that have to been done. It is tedious but so important in sustaining the lab. At my new lab we do toxicology, DNA, biology and chemistry testing. The agency is part of the state government and connected with police department.  I will get to work on criminal cases. I cannot wait for what was next. This dream, my dream, has come true! 

Post-Graduation

I wish my roommates would quit asking me what my plans are for the day as they are leaving for work.  “Faye, have you heard back from any agencies?”” Faye, maybe you should reconsider working for the med research company. I know it is not what you want, but at least it is a job.”  I just smile and wave, turning back to my only source of comfort right now, Fallout.

At least it won’t ask questions I don’t currently know the answers to. In the middle of the wasteland, in the middle of the apocalypse, I am the hero and it feels good. Honestly, I believed that as soon as I received a Bachelors of Science degree, I would not have to wait to get a job as a crime scene technician. With all of the TV shows talking about this field, I imagined the job opportunities would be plentiful. I am not one who is comfortable putting myself in the spotlight so trying to sell a prospective employer on my abilities has not been comfortable or easy. However, financial necessity is about to make my social anxiety take a back seat and if I can’t find a job as a crime scene technician , 

I may just be testing the latest depression drug on some poor rats for a large company whose main concern is profits and not people. I have worked so hard and have had to overcome so many obstacles. I just wanted something to go perfect. My roommates do not understand. They are both fairly athletic and extremely extroverted people. They have never had an issue talking about themselves or turning up the charm. Do not get me wrong, I love those girls to death, we are just different people in a lot of ways, but similar in the important ways. They mean well, really, but they are just reminding me of what I feel is my own shortcomings. It is not like I haven’t been trying. I have put applications out to local, state, and federal agency both government and civilian owned.  I was not the ideal, 4.0, student but I was hard working and ended with a 3.5. It took years to get through school. To gather all the necessary credits and courses to get that one slip of paper that can help your dreams come true. The anxiety and anticipation of not hearing back from any of the agencies combined with my financial responsibilities led me to apply to some big, research Pharma companies. Because of my qualifications I got a few call backs almost immediately. Two of them gave me some time to think about it because of their desire to have me. The third company has moved on. The mix of emotions is incredibly difficult to deal with. It is so much easier to dive into a whole new virtual world and save the humans from the mutants and mercenaries, be the hero!