Post-Graduation

I wish my roommates would quit asking me what my plans are for the day as they are leaving for work.  “Faye, have you heard back from any agencies?”” Faye, maybe you should reconsider working for the med research company. I know it is not what you want, but at least it is a job.”  I just smile and wave, turning back to my only source of comfort right now, Fallout.

At least it won’t ask questions I don’t currently know the answers to. In the middle of the wasteland, in the middle of the apocalypse, I am the hero and it feels good. Honestly, I believed that as soon as I received a Bachelors of Science degree, I would not have to wait to get a job as a crime scene technician. With all of the TV shows talking about this field, I imagined the job opportunities would be plentiful. I am not one who is comfortable putting myself in the spotlight so trying to sell a prospective employer on my abilities has not been comfortable or easy. However, financial necessity is about to make my social anxiety take a back seat and if I can’t find a job as a crime scene technician , 

I may just be testing the latest depression drug on some poor rats for a large company whose main concern is profits and not people. I have worked so hard and have had to overcome so many obstacles. I just wanted something to go perfect. My roommates do not understand. They are both fairly athletic and extremely extroverted people. They have never had an issue talking about themselves or turning up the charm. Do not get me wrong, I love those girls to death, we are just different people in a lot of ways, but similar in the important ways. They mean well, really, but they are just reminding me of what I feel is my own shortcomings. It is not like I haven’t been trying. I have put applications out to local, state, and federal agency both government and civilian owned.  I was not the ideal, 4.0, student but I was hard working and ended with a 3.5. It took years to get through school. To gather all the necessary credits and courses to get that one slip of paper that can help your dreams come true. The anxiety and anticipation of not hearing back from any of the agencies combined with my financial responsibilities led me to apply to some big, research Pharma companies. Because of my qualifications I got a few call backs almost immediately. Two of them gave me some time to think about it because of their desire to have me. The third company has moved on. The mix of emotions is incredibly difficult to deal with. It is so much easier to dive into a whole new virtual world and save the humans from the mutants and mercenaries, be the hero!